erase "work-life" balance and navigate life

Erase Work-Life Balance: Change the Conversation (With Yourself) 2

Yesterday my daughter described a disagreement she was having with a friend at camp. She exclaimed that her friend’s idea was “so stupid!” I remarked that her words were not very descriptive of the point she was trying to make and rather likely to stir up anger in her friend, making things worse. I suggested…


self-promotion and selflessness

Somewhere between Self-promotion and Selflessness: Practicing Happiness, Part 2

Finding the sweet spot that lies between self-promotion and selflessness is the focus of this second in a two-part series on practicing happiness. To read part 1, click here. Lately, I have been hearing from my clients that they feel increasing pressure to put their best selves forward: While fully recognizing that their peers post…


take for granted

Recognize What You Take For Granted: How To Practice Happiness, Part 1

In celebration of International Happiness Day, I am recycling an old article I wrote in 2010 about recognizing what we take for granted. It’s an easy way to start practicing happiness and build confidence every day. For part 2 of this series, click here. During our renovation, we were very fortunate to have been able…


avoiding mistakes

How Avoiding Mistakes Can Hold You Back

As a recovering perfectionist, I tend to spend a lot of energy avoiding mistakes. One of my longtime hobbies is knitting. I learned how to knit when I was 10, but it wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I learned an invaluable lesson about mistakes. Up until then, whenever I made a knitting mistake, I couldn’t…


think small

Think Small to Boost Confidence Even When Tackling Tasks You Dread

As a big fan of thinking small, I have written about baby steps in the past. In recent months, I have realized that breaking projects we dread down into smaller tasks can not only help you get things done, it can also help you feel good about your competence and thus boost your confidence. An…


Three Wishes for Women

Three Wishes for Women

This holiday season, I have three wishes for women. They are based on what I have heard and observed over the course of many years interviewing mothers as a researcher and working with women as a coach. My three wishes for women: I wish you time to develop inner peace. Matthieu Ricard describes this as…


when bad things happen

When Bad Things Happen: What Women Should and Shouldn’t Do

When bad things happen, smart women, sometimes, unwittingly make it harder on themselves. Bad things happen to everyone—it’s part of life. As much as they may prepare, work hard, and try to do the right thing, bad things may still happen to them and to those they care about. After something bad happens, women tend…


ask for help

What You May Miss When You Don’t Ask for Help

Do you find it hard to ask for help? Many smart people, especially women, are more comfortable offering or providing assistance than they are receiving and accepting it. Four Common Reasons Smart People Don’t Ask for Help In reflecting on many conversations I’ve had with my clients over the years, I believe there are four…


happy at work, find flow

Stacy’s Book Note: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

“If you want to be happy at work, find flow.” You’ve probably heard this advice before. But, what is flow? Let’s go to the source. In this book note, I summarize the key elements of flow as described in Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He and his colleagues have conducted numerous studies…