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What Will You Leave Out February 2009 We’re approaching that time of year when some people like to do spring cleaning. It’s also tax season—time to put our financial lives in order. I have noticed that moms are often told we need to be organized. Most moms I know are indeed already pretty organized; we have to be. Our worlds depend on our remembering everything that goes on the calendar (play dates, birthdays, holidays, business trips, doctor’s appointments, haircuts, etc.) for every member of our household. We are usually the ones who make sure fridges and cupboards are stocked and that food gets onto the table. Whether you’ve done the cooking yourself or simply placed an order, it is usually you, the mom, who has taken action to ensure that everyone in the household has something to eat at the next meal. We are also usually the ones who know where everything is (or might be) in our homes. We know where the extra rolls of tape are; we are the ones who make sure spring clothes are taken out and winter clothes put away. Finally, we are usually the ones who know whether to take advantage of a sale on children’s clothes because we know which items will be needed next season and what sizes to get. We get things done. But sometimes I wonder whether this emphasis on being organized is too great. Are we placing undue pressure on ourselves? We need to feel we have control over our lives, but does this desire end up controlling us? As many of you know, I am a recovering perfectionist. When things get busy in my household, or as happened recently, when family members getting sick interrupt my “schedule” and leave me feeling very much behind, I find myself thinking, “If I could just get the dining room table cleared of the piled-up mail, children’s artwork, and miscellaneous clutter, I would feel better,” or, “If I could just vacuum the crumbs from those saltines, I would feel more sane.” How many times have you also thought, “If I could just get X done, I would feel better”? Do our minds play tricks on us? We convince ourselves that if we can become more organized, we will be happier. Yet perhaps there is just too much “stuff” to organize to begin with, so we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment. Maybe we would be better off just getting rid of some of that stuff, to make life simpler. But exactly how do we do that? And where do we begin? Because there is a lot of stuff, isn’t there? I don’t just mean the physical stuff, but the stuff in our heads and the stuff on our calendars. It’s overwhelming to even think about what we might be able to cross off our to-do lists. Realistically, what can we live without? This month I’m launching a monthly “mind spa” for moms. In my work and in my own personal life, I have heard so many moms describe their desire to connect with other moms in a meaningful way. Yet, so many of us have friends scattered across the country and schedules too hectic to coordinate a time to get together or even reflect on one’s own. So, I’ve created this monthly discussion group, where smart and caring moms can get together, talk, and share around the second Wednesday of each month. Our very first topic for discussion will be “What will you leave out?” and we’ll be reflecting on the following:
I have some ideas I would like to share, but what I really want is to learn from others, too. I therefore designed these discussion groups so that we can reflect on our lives, learn from one another, and feel recharged, revived, and re-energized. I hope you’ll join me. But if you can’t, please do send me your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you. TO READ OTHER PREVIOUS ARTICLES, CLICK HERE. TO SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER, PLEASE CLICK HERE. |
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