Gremlins, Goblins, and Ghosts

October 28, 2009

As the end of October draws near, Halloween paraphernalia is all around us. When they see it, my young children are excited by the jack-o’-lanterns and the thoughts of sweets, but also frightened by the images of ghosts, monsters, and evil witches.

They express their fright so vividly. They scream, cry, and bury their faces in our chests and laps, or in pillows.

Watching my children, I can’t help but think about all the fears and worries haunting us adults that we often just bottle up.

Most of us have an inner critic or two that haunts us. Coaches often refer to these critics as “gremlins.” These inner voices tell us about all the bad things that could happen to us. They tell us that we’re not good enough. And sometimes they tell us we don’t deserve the good life that we have.

Gremlins can come from different sources. Maybe they echo the words spoken to us by an adult when we were children, and the memory of those words haunts us like a ghost. Others may originate in the critiques of well-meaning sources, which morphed or grew once in our heads.

These gremlins don’t go away; they are a part of our psyche. They may be quiet from time to time, but they often increase their volume when we’re trying to do something new. These gremlins usually feed procrastination, guilt, and perfectionism (what I call the “Three Deadly Roadblocks” for talented, caring moms).

So how do you quiet your gremlins in order to accomplish what you want to? The first step is to recognize them. Surprisingly, the mere recognition of your inner critics can be a powerful aid. So start by simply being aware of:

• Their existence
• When they come out
• What they are saying to you
• How they make you feel

Once you recognize your gremlins, the next step is to try to replace their voices with a more helpful one: a positive mantra. Following are a few examples of how this can work:

Gremlin: Look at you! You still have your pregnancy belly fat!
Replacement mantra: I am working on improving my health.

Gremlin: Who do you think you are, trying to start a new career at this stage of your life?

Replacement mantra: I deserve to have a fulfilling career, and I can do this!

 

Gremlin: Sally’s child is already reading and playing chess. What kind of parent are you?

Replacement mantra: My child is learning at her own pace, and I support her in a way that’s best for her.

The examples above are actually of my own gremlins. As I mentioned earlier, they are a part of the human experience that are impossible to completely rid yourself of. So instead, please try out these suggestions for quieting your own gremlins and feeling better about doing the things you love.

This Halloween, be haunted by the ghosts and goblins that surround you, not the ones inside your head. And, make sure you have some sweets!

Happy Halloween!
Stacy

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